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Simon Sez - Stage Hypnosis - Spank Me - FunnyWell, try renting Secretary , the movie starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader , and watching it with your sweetie, suggests Bussel.
Whether you're the spanker or the spankee, Bussel says to approach the "hey, can we try this" discussion forthrightly but without pressure.
As for how to perform the spanking, there are lots of ways to do it! First, pick a position that feels comfortable for you. For beginners, Roche suggests lying across someone's lap on a bed so that the spankee's head is supported.
The receiver can also bend over a chair or stand against a wall if that's more enticing. You can use hands or spank with an implement like a wooden paddle.
Sex shops have lots of fun instruments — if your paddle's covered in fur it becomes a "joke-y, funny prop" and will inject humor into the bedroom, says Bussel.
You just want to start soft and explore! Other areas that you should not hit under any circumstances include the backs of the knees, the tailbone and the spine.
In between blows, the spanker can caress the spanked area, fondle the genitals, or gently tug the spankee's hair — if that's what the spankee would like.
Find out if those whimpers of pain were in ecstasy or regret. But like lots of choices on the kink sexual buffet , spanking is not embraced by everyone.
You'll find that the butt is off-limits for a lot of adults, Fulbright warns. While some people find it exciting to have that area touched, others grapple with the psychological element of letting someone access a "taboo" area, even if your partner isn't touching anywhere near your anus.
Her biggest hurdle? Katherine had a physically abusive relationship as a young adult and the first time a sexual partner hit her butt was out of anger, she says.
For years, Katherine wrestled with an internal conflict about asking a man to spank her in the context of sex. Indeed, it's not hard to see how people who were spanked as children or physically abused in at any point in life may cringe at spanking during sex.
For lots of us, hitting is scary, angry, and unpredictable. That's why trusting your partner is crucial. Therefore, trust goes both ways.
One idea? Establish a word or phrase, something other than "stop" or "no" which people sometimes say when they mean just the opposite , that signifies all spanking must cease immediately.
Toying with power dynamics can be as alluring as it is discomforting. When it comes to spanking and gender-roles, baggage about power can enter the bedroom on an express train.
Although love taps are certainly not exclusively man-on-woman behavior, anecdotally, guys spanking gals is one of the more common manifestations.
Some dudes relish lady-swatting, which makes them feel powerful or manly. Roche, for instance, says he loves the "power aspect. Men are, after all, taught never to hit women.
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